Self-care checklist

I run my own company, I’m a full-fledged adult. Taking care of myself is part of the standard things I do. Right?

Between having ADHD and wanting way too many things, I get thrown off-balance somewhat too regularly. I focus too much on a project while disregarding everything else, I can’t get stuff done or am finding a hard time to motivate myself to do anything. When that happens, it’s easy for me to stay stuck in the proverbial puddle instead of working my way out.

Staying in a situation is comfortable, because the alternative is change, and change is scary. When I’m stuck, I can’t blame myself for my (lack of) actions: I’m stuck, after all, and that’s reason enough. Except that doesn’t make me happy, because it interferes with who I want to be and what I actually want to do: I never actually want to be stuck, I just… am, and need to get myself out again.

To help my future self out, I made a self-care checklist that should help nudge things in the right direction. Keep in mind: any improvement is a win, so even the smallest step is already good. As long as it gets the ball rolling 😌

The list is mostly tailored to myself. You might find it most useful if you make your own, taking inspiration from this list. You’ll likely have your own pitfalls to deal with, and with a little bit of luck you’ll have no need for such a list in the first place. If you do, though, I hope this will help you too 🙂

First things first: under five minutes

Let’s get started with some very low effort and quick things that can have a big impact. They are easy to do whenever, even if you’re exceptionally low on motivation.

Start at the top, pick something that sticks out to you. Whatever you do, don’t feel bad about not having done something recently yet – we’re only looking forward here, the past is in the past but you can do something for the present right now.

• Drink some water. I tend to not drink enough. It’s easy to forget when I’m laser-focused on work, or distracted by something random.
• Take a five minute break. And ideally, physically move out of the context you’re in. Stand up, move to a different space – grab that glass of water for example, or go use the bathroom.
• Eat a piece of fruit. One or two a day is nice, try to keep a few at the ready – apples stay well for about a week and don’t cause much of a mess.
• Do a quick clean-up. Old paper, used packaging and plastic go in the recycling bins, pencils go back into the pencil tray, used dishes go into the dishwasher. Maybe there’s laundry that should go into the laundry bin, maybe there are items that can be moved back to their standard location. Shouldn’t take more than a few minutes at most, and it’ll feel noticeably less cluttered before long. If need be, a quick vacuum clean does a lot, too.
• Go outside. Ideally, go for a short walk, a few minutes is fine but longer is better. Keep a slow pace, too fast and you’ll stay stressed. Don’t listen to music, don’t look at your phone.
• Write down the first thing or two that come to mind. Usually something is bothering me at this point, and writing it down makes me think about it consciously as it needs to be at least somewhat concrete in order to write it down. Where do I write? Doesn’t really matter – whether it’s the default Notes app, Word or something like OmniOutliner, just getting started is the point here.
• Write down the next one task you’ll start with right now. It’s a bit of a bog, but the SMART-method still applies: be specific about it, have it be measurable, scope it in a way that you can complete it in an hour or two. Ideally, it’ll contribute toward the single most important thing right now, but if things are especially bad then just getting some momentum going is already great.
• Set a 5-minute timer and get started on something. And don’t let the timer make noise, so if you’re actually still going, you won’t be distracted by it. Yeah, it’s a trick to get myself going, but it works, most of the time! Just don’t think you’re too good for tricks. It works. Just accept it.
• Think of two things you’re happy with right now. Even if things feel bad, there’s still a lot of good around, too. Two things require a bit more thinking than one thing, which will help in transitioning to a more positive frame of reference. Keep at it!
• Put anything that’s distracting away. It’s usually the phone. When working on a computer, close any applications that don’t contribute directly to the task at hand.
• Quick and easy exercise. Do five squats, or five push-ups, or five sit-ups, or maybe all of those. No need for weights or gym clothing, you won’t break a sweat. The point is to get moving and break out of the rut, even if just a little.
• Shave or trim your facial hair. I usually do that every morning, but if I’m feeling down then I might skip a day or two. Takes a few minutes, makes me feel better. Just do it in the morning even if you don’t feel like it, it’s worth the effort.
• Get out of bed. Alright, the entire bit of getting ready for the day takes more than five minutes, but the act of physically getting out of bed won’t take more than five seconds. Go!

Most of these things are a part of my daily routine already. But if I feel bad, I’ve usually neglected one or more of these steps. A reminder can help pick me pick it back up.

Take some time: under two hours

Nice! You’ve done one or a few of the quick fixes above. The not so nice: you probably do need to do a little bit more to feel better, as the quick fixes only get you so far.

• Exercise! Go for a half hour walk. Go for a short run. Get to the gym for strength or cardio exercises. I know, you’re not feeling like it, because you’re reading this checklist. Even so, still get a move on, because you always do feel better after exercise even if you feel like shit beforehand. A half-assed run is infinitely better than laying down on the bed or couch knowing that you should be doing something active instead. If I feel like shit, nine times out of ten, I won’t have exercised that day or the day before.
• Eat healthy. Ensure you’ve got the ingredients for one healthy meal, and be sure to cook it for yourself. Leave work on time, don’t rush the eating, get enough vegetables and protein in. The same goes for the other meals: take something for breakfast, and eat normal bread for lunch. They’re the basics, but subsisting on candy and takeaway isn’t good and you know it.
• Wind down for sleep. You do need at least seven and a half hours a night! Be sure to allow for an hour or two to unwind, and then actually unwind. Go for a walk at a normal, recovery pace. Turn the lights down. Do a quick scan for tomorrow’s calendar, make notes and reminders if you need to, clean up the day’s things so everything is in its own spot again.
• Get up decisively. Urgh. I am not a morning person. But snoozing inevitably leads to me oversleeping, and I end up more groggy and less productive for it, every single time. Getting up on time and pushing myself to actually get out of the house on time is the basis for a calm and productive day! You snooze, you lose: a late start causes me to feel like I have to catch up, and I can’t shed that feeling for the entire day which makes me feel rushed and leaves me with little to no energy at the end of the day, making the other healthy habits nigh impossible to keep up with. It’s the most difficult part of the day for sure, but it’s always worth it. Come on!
• Plan ahead for the next four weeks. Not nitty-gritty, but high over. Think up some chunks of work that contribute to what’s important in the long term, and slot that in to your actual schedule. What do you need to get done for you to feel happy about your performance that week?
• Deep-clean an area. Scope it so you can clean it within two hours. Sort things and put them in their proper places. Dispose of things out if you won’t use them anymore, selling, donating or recycling where possible. If selling, make pictures and the listings right away, or stuff will sit in another box for another year or more, losing all their value anyway. Grap some cleaning gear and wipe the dust off surfaces, you’ll see and smell the difference.
• Sit down and write. What’s keeping you busy, mentally? What do you feel and what’s causing that? What are the parts you can influence, and what are the parts you can’t? Which changes would be desired, and what are ways to go about that? Work from the situation to one or more solutions, and think of at least one tangible step toward solving it that you will work on in the next few days. Doing nothing—which hopefully means accepting the situation—is an acceptable first step too.
• Talk about it. Don’t feel like writing down whatever’s bothering you? Call a friend, or throw it into the group – best if it’s in-person. I don’t have a lot of family, but if you’re close to them, don’t be afraid to rely on others. You can never rely too much on others as long as you desire change yourself too.
• Set short-term goals. I’m talking about goals you can achieve in the next three to nine months. Close enough that you can feel the pressure just by hearing the timeframe, but also far enough away that you can make a tangible impact. It’s also close enough so that you know the goals have to be realistic, or else you can’t get them done in time. SMART helps here too. If they’re up to date, grab your long-term goals and align the short-term goals with them. If not, plan some good time in the near future to update your long-term goals, too. Why do all this? When I don’t work toward a goal, I find it hard to see what I’m doing it for, which depletes my motivation very quickly. Set goals!
• Create something new. Try to create quickly and often. Write, design, sketch, program, solder, play. The important part is gaining momentum and experiencing the creation of something new, which gives a lot of energy. You can’t experience failure because the process is the goal of its own here. Bonus points for documenting the process and/or sharing any results with anyone. Sure, all work is creating in essence, but I’m talking about anything tangible and lasting here, something that can give insight or inspiration, or something that just satisfies my own curiosity. The more I create, the lower the friction becomes toward creating more. Keep the flow going.

Long term efforts

Some things take deliberate effort and can’t be fixed in a few hours. That’s fine, it’s just how it is. Thankfully they’re not often a problem, but it’s important to keep them in mind too.

• Downtime. Be sure to get enough time that’s essentially “nothing”. Don’t allocate that time to sleeping, exercising or anything else. You need to have time off that’s actually off. Doesn’t mean you can’t actually do anything in that time, of course – you actually should, but allow that time to shape itself naturally, giving you space to do what you want at that moment, like writing this blog post. Oh, and try not to rob yourself of sleep to get this downtime either – no stealing from future you, you won’t appreciate that the day after, for sure.
• Work-life balance. I want too much, and when I go for something I go all the way, or not at all. Still, I need to set healthy limits to keep to. Recognise that crossing those limits can be necessary at times, but also recognise that consistent effort in the long run outclasses bursts in the short term. Recognise that crossing those limits always incurs a cost, in health, relationships, future productivity or more. That cost can be worth the gains, but do be aware of it and make the choice consciously.
• Shape your environment. If you’re still unhappy with it even after cleaning, think about what should change. Maybe it’s as small as hanging a painting or changing some cushions, or maybe furniture can be moved around. The environment definitely isn’t just stuff, too: be sure to keep investing in good relationships, and sever harmful relationships if they can’t be salvaged. You spend your entire life in your environment, so it’s worthwhile to consciously try to shape it so you’re comfortable within it, at least every once in a while. I’d go as far as to say that your own body is your environment too, so take care to shape that as well by staying fit and healthy. Don’t become too complacent just because you’re “comfortable”, either: make sure you’re actually comfortable, and not just accepting of the situation because it seems like it would take too much effort to change. The effort to get to a better place is just about always worth it, even if that place is usually mental instead of physical.
• Set long-term goals. Yeah yeah. “Where do you see yourself in five years?” It’s a classic and dreaded job interview question, but it’s legitimately important to answer for yourself. What do you want to do and who do you want to be in five years? The same goes for my company, too – it’s important both personally as well as professionally. Then, once the goals are set, try to break them down, perhaps in phases of a year or two at most, and work your way down so you can actually make tangible progress over the course of a year. These eventually flow into short-term goals and day-to-day tasks, so make sure you actually want to achieve these goals because you’ll be putting in the work, too, even when it gets hard. It’s nice to want things, but be prepared to work for it too.

Lame but true statements

These statements sound pretty lame and their sentiments are oft-repeated, but to me they still hold truth and it can’t hurt to be reminded of them from time to time.

• You’re probably too harsh on yourself. You see all aspects of you, whereas others only see the parts of you which they interact with, at best. Of the people you interact with most, they’ll remember your positive traits more frequently than the negative ones. And as you worry about your own appearance, so does everyone else, at the cost of noticing less about others. So cut yourself some slack if you need it – don’t let you drag yourself down.
• You can’t change the past. Regretting past (in)actions or longing to go back to past situations won’t bring about positive change for the future. It’ll only hold you back. It’s too easy to say to just let things go, but do try to appreciate the present when you notice the past is keeping you busy. You’re shaped more by whom you are now and by whom you want to become, than by whom you used to be.
• You can only change the future by acting in the present. Planning ahead is vital, but there’s also worrying and micromanaging too. Plan just enough so you know you’re on the right course, and then focus on the present to actually do the work and live. Anything more is a waste of energy.
• Any effort is better than no effort. You can’t hike a trail in one step. Moving in any direction is better than not doing anything at all, as long as the direction is somewhat motivated.
• You learn best by making mistakes. So don’t punish yourself for having tried something. Instead, turn it into a lesson for yourself. And if you’re generous, you can share the lesson with others, too.

Read more

I feel like these steps are documented one way or another in a great number of self-help books. Two that I’ve read and have probably been among the most influential are:

• The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen Covey, and;
• Getting Things Done, by David Allen.

I’m currently in the process of reading Eat That Frog by Brian Tracy, as well as Atomic Habits by James Clear.

Closing words

I think, to most people, these steps will look normal. It’ll already be part of your daily habits in such a way that you might be surprised to even see some things mentioned on the list. If it was a generic list not tailored to myself, I’d probably put stuff like “shower regularly” or “brush your teeth” on it, too.

The basics are basic because they’re important, yet require little effort to do, especially as part of a daily habit. However, it’s when those habits break due to whatever circumstances someone’s experiencing, that picking them back up gets harder. And because they’re the very basics to most people, the self-loathing for not getting up and doing the thing gets all the worse.

I’m glad I’m able to work the job that I have, and I’m glad to mostly have my routines in order. But there are definitely times that I don’t, even still. And if I don’t, then I’m sure I won’t be the only one. There are many people on this planet, after all. So if it helps someone, then I’m glad to have shared my checklist. Thank you for reading and until next time! 🙂